Why it´s so difficult to release your trauma

Despite the fact that trauma severely hinders her in her life, letting go of it is one of the hardest things she's ever done. She comes to sit on her mat, tense. She takes another deep breath. "Am I ready?" she wonders.

I see this in all the women and men who come for trauma healing. When they arrive, they're afraid. Afraid or very tense. They don't know what to expect. They know they want to release the trauma, but the step to do so is a big one. For them, releasing trauma also means releasing a part of their identity. It means they're becoming a new person, but they don't yet know who they will be.

Trauma

Trauma arises from experiencing a very intense, unpleasant event. This can be a single event, such as an accident or rape, or a series of experiences, such as a strict upbringing. You can also carry traumas from past lives or family lines. In our world, almost everyone has a trauma. This can be smaller traumas or sometimes real big traumas.

At the moment the trauma occurs, your body and soul begin to protect themselves. Your body may need to heal. Your soul also needs to heal. Because of the trauma, your soul feels unknown and unsafe. Your soul itself is likely literally wounded. Whatever the trauma, it directly affects your soul and body. Experiencing the trauma costs you a lot of energy, or it causes a lot of (negative) energy to enter your body.

Since almost every person has a trauma, almost everyone experience side effects from the trauma. This can be the harmless effects like fatique, slightly depressed,  being easily afraid or panicking, but also the more serious ones, like PTSD, in which you´re not able to function well at all times.

Trauma release is a big deal

Trauma doesn't just disappear. It's an intense (negative) energy that remains within your soul and/or body. This immediately makes it a part of you, a part of your identity. It's inside you; it won't go away on its own.

The woman on the mat in front of me feels this too. She even mentions it. "It's been part of my life for so long. I've never talked about it."

Many people keep their trauma secret, like a secret place in their soul. They keep it secret mostly because the trauma is too intense. No words meet their emotions and feelings. No words can really explain what the impact of the trauma is on their lives. Besides that, in our world there is a deep urge to only show the good side of life. It´s easy to tell people how good your life is, they will adore you. But only a few will stand by you if you talk about your pain and grief.

But as I mentioned, everyone has a trauma. Everyone knows a woman in their inner circle who experienced rape, everybody knows a person in their inner circle who carries a childhood trauma. But only a few will talk about it.

Holding onto trauma is very valuable

Holding onto trauma is actually very valuable. Your soul and body both also have advantages to holding onto the trauma. Let me explain myself further.

The thing with experiencing trauma is that it takes a lot of energy. Your body and soul expend a lot of energy on the trauma. It´s almost the same amount of energy as if you were winning an important game, but then in a negative way. But nevertheless, it´s your experience, it´s part of your story, and it´s an important part of your life and identity.

Your soul longs to share the trauma, but your body cannot find the words. It wants the story to be heard, and it wants justice for the experience, it wants to receive acknowledgement and comfort. But since your body cannot find the right words, your soul will wait till someone recognises and values their pain and story in the right way. So, if you don't take action, your soul will keep it with her for a lifetime.

If your energy is money

To make it clearer why it is so hard to let go of your trauma, compare your energy with money. In your life, you have a certain budget, dreams and goals. One day, you're forced to invest a big amount of your budget in an ugly house. You were promised a golden house, but you end up with a heavy, ugly house. You don't want it, but you have no choice. Your dreams fade away and your goals seem unreachable.

That house is ugly and cracky, and it costed you a lot of money, like 20% of your budget. Do you throw it away? No, that's a waste of money, and it´s all you´ve got. You take care of it and start feeling some kind of comfortable in it. It suits you, and new people only know you in that house. You also start to get used to it. The golden house that´s still reachable is fading away. You´ll settle for this one.

To stay in this ugly, cracky house, you have to pay a small monthly fee. You do it because you start to get used to it, and throwing it away is a waste of the money/energy you've already invested in it. The house is with you day and night; it's part of your identity, your aura, your life. Over time, you become attached to that house; after all, it is your house, your story.

Letting go of that ugly house becomes harder every day, because every day you´ll invest a bit in it. Like releasing trauma becomes a bit harder every day. The total energy you invest in your trauma increases daily, your identity becomes increasingly based on your trauma, and the trauma also becomes more firmly embedded in your body. The earlier in life the trauma occurred, the more deeply it is ingrained in our identity and body. You know the trauma is holding you back, but you no longer know who you were before the trauma. The trauma has become part of you. The energetic, traumaless you, the one who lives in the golden house, seems more out of reach every day and is soon to be forgotten and unreachable. It´s out of your dreams.

That one, single day

One day, you'll encounter your trauma again. It surfaces. It might come out of nowhere or through a conversation with a good friend. You decide it's time to let go of your trauma. But how? The first step most people take is to talk to someone about it. A psychologist or psychiatrist. But talking is often difficult. Very difficult. Talking requires pushing through a wall of energy to reach the core of your trauma. It's like lifting that ugly, large house above your heart for an hour.

For some, talking actually will help, but most people need more. Their souls want to be

seen, they want their story to be remembered. Mostly, only if you can release the energy of your trauma that´s within your body and soul, you´re really released from your trauma.

As of today, the woman who sat in front of me is a different person. I invite you to start dreaming again of you living in that golden house, to live your best life. You´re worth it, as is your story. You shouldn´t keep it a secret, you better open up about your trauma. Every single person has a trauma, so your story is one of the many.