Why are matriarchal societies more peaceful?
 How balance prevents violence and heals trauma

Welcome to this free Wisdom Course

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Did you know that one of the strongest predictors of how peaceful a country is, is how safely and equally its women are treated? Political scientist Valerie Hudson and her colleagues found this in their research for Sex and World Peace (2012). It predicted peace better than a country's wealth or its level of democracy. Philosopher Heide Goettner-Abendroth calls matriarchal societies "societies of peace".

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The children I have spoken to tell me about a world where rape, insults and discrimination have no place: the Matriarchal World, or the Old World. In this course you discover why matriarchal societies are known as societies of peace and how balance and community prevent trauma. You learn how trauma, money and leadership are connected, and how you can bring peace into your own life, family and community.

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Welcome to this wisdom course.

What you'll learn today

• Why the safety of women is a measure of peace

• What research says about peace in matriarchal societies

• How balance between feminine and masculine energy prevents violence and trauma

• How children who know their worth grow into peaceful adults

• How trauma, money and leadership are connected, and why this changes without money

• How you can bring peace and healing into your own life and community

The short answer

Why are matriarchal societies more peaceful?

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Researchers who study matriarchal societies describe them as societies of peace. They resolve conflicts through consensus and put care for life at the centre. In the Matriarchal World, feminine and masculine energy are in balance, children learn from birth that they are valuable, and no one stands alone. Money plays no role there, so power can't be bought and pain isn't passed on through budgets and systems. In this environment violence rarely arises, and trauma can heal.

What children and moms have told me

Why a Matriarchal World is more peacefully 

The safety of women is a measure of peace

When you talk with women, you hear the same longing again and again: safety. The safety to be who you are, at home, at work and on the street. A woman who feels safe begins to radiate. And where women receive that space, others naturally follow.

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This is more than a feeling. Hudson's research shows that countries where women live safely and as equals are more peaceful. The International Peace Institute reached a similar conclusion in 2015, in a study often cited by UN Women. When women sit at the table in peace negotiations, the peace is 35% more likely to last at least fifteen years. So peace begins with one question: how safe do women feel?

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Societies of peace

That question leads us to matriarchal societies. Heide Goettner-Abendroth, founder of Modern Matriarchal Studies, studied them for decades and even named her book after them: Societies of Peace. She describes them as egalitarian societies of consensus. Everyone is heard, and people keep searching until they find an answer everyone can support. A disagreement becomes a conversation, not a fight.

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You can see this in communities that still exist today. The Minangkabau of Indonesia make decisions through musyawarah: talking until they reach consensus. The Haudenosaunee of North America built their confederacy on the Great Law of Peace, which united five warring nations. Their clan mothers choose the chiefs, and they can also remove them. With every decision, they look seven generations ahead. Of course people there disagree sometimes. The difference lies in what they do with it: they listen, search together and look beyond today.

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A world free of harm

The children I speak with take you one step further. They tell me about a world where rape, insults and discrimination are simply absent. These acts have no place in people's minds, so they are never an option. In my vision, this is the true matriarchal society: a world full of love, where everyone is cared for and trauma has no ground to grow.

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How is that possible? People in the Old World feel loved, valuable and important. When you feel that way, you make your choices from love and respect: for yourself, for others, for animals and for nature. And when you love yourself, you can also respect someone else's "no".

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Balance as medicine

The key is balance. Feminine energy lives in your heart chakra and brings love, compassion, connection and inner wisdom. Masculine energy lives in your base chakra and brings strength, identity and protection. When both are about equally strong, you are in balance. In the Old World you learn this as a child: the two energies side by side and woven together, like two colours of a rainbow.

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A person in balance feels safe inside. She stands tall in her own power, so she leaves others their full size too. She protects with strength and cares with love. This is why a peaceful society begins with the balance inside each person.

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Peace begins in the cradle

That balance grows from the very first day. In the Matriarchal World we tell a child from birth who she is, what she can do and why she is here on Earth. She learns that she may be proud, that she belongs and that she is just as important as the animals, nature and the Earth. In LeerRijk, working with your energy and emotions is a subject every child follows from a young age. Children learn what they feel, how to set their boundaries with love and how to respect the boundaries of others.

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Science shows how powerful this is. Researchers at Johns Hopkins University found in 2019 that adults with many positive childhood experiences had 72% lower odds of depression or poor mental health than adults with few. Think of experiences like feeling safe with an adult, being supported by friends and feeling that you belong. Research from UCLA in 2007 showed that naming a feeling calms the alarm centre in your brain, the amygdala. A child who knows her worth and can name her feelings grows into a peaceful adult.

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No one stands alone

In the Matriarchal World, a child is a child of the whole community. There is always an adult nearby, always someone for her. That is exactly what makes children strong. Harvard University's Center on the Developing Child names at least one stable, loving relationship with an adult as the most important factor in children who grow up resilient. In the Matriarchal World, every child has many.

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As an adult, you are always surrounded by support there too. In our world, a mother who loses a baby, feels lonely or faces discrimination often carries her pain in silence. In the Matriarchal World, someone always stands beside you. That makes all the difference. Psychologist Chris Brewin found in 2000 that support from others after a painful event is one of the most important factors in whether someone develops lasting trauma. Community is protection.

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Trauma, money and leadership

In our world, pain travels. Unhealed trauma moves from a person to a family, and from a family to a society. A society chooses leaders who match its own frequency. That frequency then shapes how we can live: how much freedom, health and opportunity we have.

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Leaders carry their own traumas, often without knowing it. And because they decide where the money goes, the money follows their pain. When a leader invests in his or her trauma, the frequency of the whole society drops. Control and fear grow, while opportunities and health shrink. Usually this happens unconsciously: leaders repeat the patterns they know.

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Through budgets and policy, those patterns become new societal traumas. This is how a society can keep itself trapped for generations. You can read more about this in the course How does collective trauma shape decision making? and in my blog Leaders use money to create new societal traumas.

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Without money, pain loses its power

The Old World lives without money. People share, give and take what they need. This removes the lever through which pain spreads through systems. Power can't be bought, no budget steers people's lives, and nobody profits from someone else's fear or scarcity. There is enough for everyone: a life in abundance.

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Leaders there are chosen for who they are. The Council of Wises consists of women, men and children who are asked, and then chosen, for their unique mix of talents. Often this is already visible in childhood, in the blueprint of their soul. Leaders who are in balance and know their own worth choose from love and wisdom, with seven generations in mind. This keeps the frequency of the society high, and peace becomes the natural way of life.

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Rest, sadness and healing as sacred seasons

Life in the Old World has its heavier moments too. People learn, create and grow, and sometimes they feel tired, empty or sad. This belongs to the cycles of life. The community sees such a period as a sacred season: a chance to grow and renew. You receive time, care and rest, so you come back stronger.

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In our world, many of us carry pain that began before we were born. Traumas and family patterns travel through the women's line from generation to generation, with one purpose: that someone finally heals them. This is also a source of hope. When you heal a trauma, you change the lives of seven generations. Every step in your healing brings more peace to the women before you, to the children after you and to the society you live in.

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If a painful experience weighs heavily on you, a doctor, therapist or trauma specialist can offer extra support. The choice of what fits you is yours.

How to bring peace into your life and community

Free tips

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1. Tell a child who she is

Take a moment today to tell a child in your life what makes her special. Name one talent you see in her, and tell her she belongs and that she is important. These words become her foundation for a peaceful life.

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2. Respect the women around you

Treat women with respect, and accept their boundaries and their leadership. As you have read, women are the key to a respectful, peaceful society.

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3. Turn a disagreement into a conversation

Next time you disagree with someone, ask with an open heart: "Where does your opinion come from? Is it fear, urgency, knowledge or ambition?" Start with your own opinion. Listen until you both feel heard.

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4. Decide in a circle

When your family, team or community needs to make a choice, sit in a circle. Let everyone speak, children included, and look for the answer that everyone can support. Ask yourself what this choice means for the seventh generation.

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5. Look at where your money flows

Look at your own spending, or at the budget of your organisation or municipality. Where does the money go: to control and fear, or to care, health and opportunities? Choose one place where you can move money towards healing.

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6. Build your circle of peace

Write down the names of the people who stand beside you. Who would you call on a hard day? Invite one new person into your circle this month, and offer to be that person for someone else.