The wisdom every daughter needs to know
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How are children raised in a matriarchal society?
What life is like for children when the whole community cares
Welcome to this free Wisdom Course
Did you know that in the Mosuo community in China, one of the best-known matrilineal societies in the world, children grow up in the house of their mother and grandmother, and their mother's brothers help raise them? The word for "father" and for "uncle" is even the same. Children there grow up surrounded by a whole family of caring adults.
In the Matriarchal World, this goes even further. A child is a child of the whole community. Her arrival is celebrated before she is born, she is guided by the women who suit her best in each phase of life, and she learns first of all how to be human. Children are seen as flag bearers who will protect life on Earth. In this course you discover how children are raised in a matriarchal society, what life is like for them, and how you can bring this wisdom into your family and community today.
Welcome to this wisdom course.
What you'll learn today
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How children are raised in existing matrilineal societies such as the Mosuo
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How a child is welcomed in the Matriarchal World, even before birth
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Why a child is a child of the whole community
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What role mothers, men and other adults play in raising children
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What children learn first: how to be human
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How you can bring this way of raising children into your life today
The short answer
How are children raised
In a matriarchal society, children are raised by the whole community instead of by one or two parents alone. Mothers, grandmothers, uncles and other caring adults share the responsibility, and a child is guided by the adults who best suit her character and development. Children are welcomed as souls with their own mission, learn at their own pace, and are taught from birth to live with love, respect and balance. There is always someone there for a child.
What children and moms have told me
The special way children are raised in a matriarchal society
Children in the Mosuo community
The Mosuo live near Lugu Lake in southwest China. Traditionally, their households are organised around the maternal line: grandmothers, great-uncles, mothers, their brothers and sisters, and the children all live together in one house. The grandmother or an elder woman often leads the household. Children carry the family name of their mother and stay in her home for life.
The mother's brother, the maternal uncle, plays a central role. Together with the mother and grandmother, he shares the responsibility for raising and educating the children. A study by Xiao and colleagues (2022) found that Mosuo children were as strongly attached to their maternal uncles as to their fathers, while in Han Chinese families, children were mostly attached to their fathers. Mosuo children grow up with many loving adults around them, and the whole household carries the care together.
Humans were made to raise children together
Scientists see the same pattern throughout human history. Anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy describes in her book Mothers and Others how humans evolved as "cooperative breeders": for most of our history, mothers raised their children together with grandmothers, aunts, uncles, older siblings and other members of the group. These other caregivers are called alloparents.
Children who grow up with several trusted caregivers learn to connect with different people, read emotions and feel safe in a wider circle. For mothers, sharing the care brings rest and space. The idea that one mother, or two parents, should do everything alone is quite new in human history. A matriarchal society returns to the way we were made to live.
A child is welcomed before she is born
In the Matriarchal World, a new life begins with contact between souls. When a child wants to be born, she seeks contact with the mother. The mother connects with the child, and together they choose the period in which the mother will become pregnant. The moment the child makes contact with the mother is celebrated by the community. The child is already welcomed, and the mother is honoured.
During pregnancy, the mother keeps her own role and identity, and other mothers prepare her for the birth and the time after. As soon as the child is born, mother and child perform a ritual together. From the very beginning, a child feels that she is wanted, expected and loved.
A child of the whole community
In the Matriarchal World, a child is a child of society. Of course a special bond remains between mother and child, but sometimes another woman, or several women, suit the child better as a "mother". Who becomes the mother depends entirely on the character of the child and the qualities and wishes of the women. A mother also does not have to fulfil this role for the child's whole life.
It is common for children to go and live with another "mother" after a few years, because this woman suits the child's development at that moment better. For children, this is very pleasant: their mother matches what they need in their development. They know in advance that they will move to another "mother", just like all other children. The love remains, and when there is a wish, children and mothers stay in contact. For the mothers, this is pleasant too: they raise children at the age and with the character that match their talents, and they are always responsible for the child together.
We make sure that there are always adults near children, so that there is always someone for them. These do not have to be the parents. The society is focused on living together and being together, and on finding the best place for every individual.
Children are the flag bearers of the future
In the Matriarchal World, children are seen as important flag bearers who will protect life on Earth and develop our society further in harmony. We choose to let their wisdom be our compass. We choose to make them feel welcome by giving them time and attention.
With every choice we make, the interest of the child and of society comes first. We choose to create a world that children need. If another world is needed tomorrow, we adapt our "system". Many problems that parents and children experience in today's world cannot exist there, because choices are made from love and attention.
What the role of men is in raising children
In the Matriarchal World, men are seen as indispensable. They are the cement that binds society together: strong, skilled, caring, tolerant and protective. They act with respect for nature and for women, and they are honoured as protectors of the community and the planet. Every woman is safe, every man is safe, and both feel heard, seen and valued.
For children, this means they grow up surrounded by men who protect and care. Just as the maternal uncles among the Mosuo share in raising the children, men in a matriarchal society are part of the circle of trusted adults around every child. Children grow up with both feminine and masculine energy in balance around them.
Children learn first how to be human
In LeerRijk, the education of the Matriarchal World, children first learn how to be human. They learn how to handle their energy, how to stay in balance, what words do and what words and dreams mean. Language, setting intentions and the power of thoughts are compulsory subjects from a young age. Children learn how to express their boundaries lovingly, show respect and respect others.
All other subjects, children follow when they are ready. Classes are organised by knowledge instead of age, so a four-year-old can learn alongside a hundred-year-old. Tests only happen when a child says she is ready, so there is no stress. When a child finds something hard, the message is: "It is not your time yet; you have another path to walk first." Children who feel important, supported and helped perform best.
Love and respect as a way of life
In the Matriarchal World, people live in peace with each other. Every person is a respected member of society. Children learn from birth how to treat each other with love and respect; it is one of the compulsory subjects. They learn that everyone is equally valuable, that every child has an important task on Earth, and that their environment becomes better when they help others. That is why bullying hardly occurs.
Children also grow up as they truly are. Roles are given to those who suit them best, based on energy, values, talents and their own wishes and goals. Children are very aware of their gender and of how much feminine and masculine energy they carry. All children are respected and valued.
How to bring this way of raising children into your life
Free tips
1. Build a circle of trusted adults
Invite grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbours to play a real role in your child's life. A child who has several trusted adults feels safe in a wider world.
2. Welcome your child as a soul
Before and during pregnancy, connect with the soul of your child. Speak to her, write her a letter, and celebrate her arrival with the people around you.
3. Share the care
Arrange shared care with family, friends or other parents, for example by taking turns cooking, bringing children to school or looking after each other's children. Sharing brings rest for mothers and richness for children.
4. Choose a godparent or mentor
Ask someone close to you to become a special confidant for your child: someone who regularly asks how your child is doing and with whom your child feels safe to talk about anything.
5. Let your child's wisdom be your compass
Listen to what your child tells you she needs. Ask her how she wants to learn, play and live, and let her answers guide your choices.
6. Teach love, respect and boundaries
Teach children from a young age how to express their boundaries lovingly, how to respect others, and how their words and thoughts influence the world around them.
7. Give men a caring role
Invite fathers, uncles, grandfathers and other men to be present, caring and protective in children's lives. Children grow up in balance when both feminine and masculine energy surround them.
8. Create a village in your neighbourhood
Get to know your neighbours, organise shared moments for families and make sure children in your street know where they can go for help. Every neighbourhood can become a small village.
Frequently asked questions
How are children raised in a matriarchal society?
Children are raised by the whole community. Mothers, grandmothers, uncles and other caring adults share the responsibility, and children are guided by the adults who best suit their character and development. There is always someone there for a child.
Who raises children in matriarchal societies?
In the Mosuo community in China, children grow up in their mother's household with their mother, grandmother and maternal uncles, who share responsibility for raising them. In the Matriarchal World, a child is guided by the women who suit her best in each phase of life, surrounded by a circle of caring adults.
What is life like for children in a matriarchal society?
Children are welcomed before birth, grow up surrounded by loving adults, learn at their own pace and first learn how to be human. They are respected as souls with their own mission, and their wisdom is seen as a compass for society.
What role do fathers and uncles play in a matriarchal society?
Among the Mosuo, the maternal uncle plays a central role in raising children, and the word for father and uncle is the same. In the Matriarchal World, men are the cement of society: protective, caring and part of the circle of trusted adults around every child.
Is it good for children to have multiple caregivers?
Research on alloparenting shows that humans evolved to raise children together. Children with several trusted caregivers learn to connect with different people and feel safe in a wider circle. For mothers, sharing the care brings rest and space.
How do children learn in a matriarchal society?
In LeerRijk, the education of the Matriarchal World, children first learn how to be human: how to handle their energy, emotions, language and thoughts. All other subjects they follow when they are ready, in classes organised by knowledge instead of age.
How can I raise my child in a more matriarchal way today?
Build a circle of trusted adults, welcome your child as a soul, share the care, choose a godparent or mentor, listen to your child's wisdom, teach love and respect, give men a caring role and turn your neighbourhood into a small village.
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